Life is sometimes like a doughnut, Its like a circle and here and there we get a few sprinkles.

I thought you were cool
until i looked in the mirror
and saw i was cooler

Subsitute: is amelia here?
amelia: actually its pronounced queen elizabeth

If germans speak german to a german shepard..do black people speak ebonics to a black lab???

Peter: what are all these parallelograms doing here?
joe: you mean paraplegic??
--FAMILY GUY

If an eaglet is a small eagel then...
Is a chicklet a small chicken,
Is a small toy a toylet (toilet)?

These are all jokelets...

lol

-Caroline Rhea on Hollywood Squares

"Shut up and let me relax."

I couldn't bite back a snort." If you were anymore relaxed you'd be comatose."

The most dangerous thing in the world?

Boredom--

Who can honestly say they haven't come up with some pretty creative ideas on how to take over the world, just because they were bored? I mean, building flower robots that hypnotise people.

Anime is aweosme!!

Summarizing my biggest hardship in one word?

Kittens.

The furry little monsters that sleep under your bed at night. Or try to suffocate you in your sleep (by sitting on your face).