My mother told me never talk to strangers. That's why I never talk to myself anymore.

When a person cries and the first drop of tears come from the right eye, it's happiness But when the first roll is on the left, it's pain.

When you told me you finally found someone, tears came out from each eye.. the exact same time.

The cow goes moo, The sheep goes baaa. The duck goes quack, the cat goes meow, and I go Zzzzzzzzz.

Dirty looks,
jealous stares,
its funny,
when you think I care.

My Pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard
and Dam right you wanna trade cards
There like you wanna trade cards?
i will trade you
but not my charizard

Ide like to take this moment to thank Gwen Stefani for teaching the whole world how to spell 'bananas'

I had a wet dream about you last night...
i dreamed you got hit by a bus and i was pisssing myself laughing

The most dangerous thing in the world?

Boredom--

Who can honestly say they haven't come up with some pretty creative ideas on how to take over the world, just because they were bored? I mean, building flower robots that hypnotise people.

Boys should tell their trousers dat it 's rude to point

If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?