A feather duck went ove to a rubber duck:What happened to you?

The rubber duck said without moving: I had plastic surgery!

If you want breakfast in bed then sleep in the kitchen!

There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn't believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus

I thought you were cool
until i looked in the mirror
and saw i was cooler

I lay there in my bed...looking at the stars and I think to myself... where the hell is my ceiling?

If gossip was a drug then we'd all be wasted.

Strangers are strange
But never let them fool you

Boy friends
Hurt you
And tear out your heart

Friends stab you in the back
And leave you

But Best friend's
Are always there and plus
They don't carry knives

" When my little sis. fell down on the ground. I come & help her up, but when I fell she just walk away & laugh her ass off. "

I did my homework, i just forgot to write it down...

I said this in class once, was rather funny =)

Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the governmental process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"...