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I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that's the last thing I need. |
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"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks |
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Wow, I've been on the No Sugar Diet for one day and have already lost ... my will to live. |
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Have you ever been so broke you tempted to ask god if you can have the refund for the payment made by Jesus on the cross for your sin?? |
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We just got a fax at work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick. |
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When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That'd be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage. |
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Regardless of your age, 10 years from now you'll want to relive your present age for one of two reasons: 1. It was awesome. 2. You wasted it. |
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"I wasn't that drunk!" Dude, you held up my cat in the air and started singing The Circle of Life! |
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LOL @ the dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got cokc blocked by Visa! |
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HELP !! |