When life throws you lemons....Buy some vodka!

Elementary School- "He started it!"

Middle School- "It was a dare!"

High School- "I was drunk."

Losing your virginity is a lot like Fable II: It starts off strange, but it gets easier real fast. Before you know it, it's over! And then you can do what ever the hell you want.

The real trouble with my sarcasm is that half the time, when people think I'm being sarcastic, I'm actually being quite sincere

"Every woman should use what mother nature gives her before father time takes it away".

Now is my new hour of stress,
Minutes ticking forth a mess!

It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission

I have two emotions; rage and supressed rage.

Ah, the ancient see - saw ethereal:
Between the essential now, here with me,
And the anticipation of looking back to now.

If you only expect the unexpected, is there really anything to expect?