When death knocks at the door greet him, then kick his ass all the way back to hell.

The other day I decided to work out so I got up and thought man that was a lot of work so I treated myself to a big Mac

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times a little hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Life will kick you in the a**. but you gotta get back up, and kick that mother f**ker back.=D

" i want to loose weight "
" well do something then "
"ya i think ill start swimming "
" whales swim "

My autobiography:
i'm the shit. the end =]

Curiousity didnt kill the cat, it got it pregnant!

=]

People always mean what they say, they just don't mean to say it!

Real girls aren't perfect,
Perfect girls aren't real.

Sex Is Like McDonalds, I'm Lovin It!
D**k Is Like Burger King, Have It Your Way!
N Pu**y Is Like Pringles, Once You Pop You Cant Stop