Elementary School- "He started it!"

Middle School- "It was a dare!"

High School- "I was drunk."

Her belt was hard-pressed to keep up her pants

Losing your virginity is a lot like Fable II: It starts off strange, but it gets easier real fast. Before you know it, it's over! And then you can do what ever the hell you want.

Thinks procrastination is a lot like masturbation... At first it seems like a really fun idea, but in the end you realize that you're just f**king yourself

They say honesty is the best way to go. But how do you tell someone that you were dreaming about them? You don't, you lie and say it was a nightmare.

Everyone knows a mike. =)

The real trouble with my sarcasm is that half the time, when people think I'm being sarcastic, I'm actually being quite sincere

"Every woman should use what mother nature gives her before father time takes it away".

Now is my new hour of stress,
Minutes ticking forth a mess!

You be my dairy queen & i'll be your burger king.
you treat me right & i'll do it your way.