Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl's whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.

I'm pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.

Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd

Party like you were invited.

As a kid if a boy liked a girl he'd poke her, call her dirty names & pull hair until she cried. Odd, as an adult girls beg guys to do that.

If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh marry them.

Never let someone with the significance of a speed bump become a roadblock in your life.

"I listened with the heart beater to your cold heart and I heard ice cracking because there was ice on your red heart and I heard cracks." -Matthew Roll, 6 years old

Unless you're looking to seriously emotionally damage someone, don't ask me for relationship advice or how to dance.

Fcuk you alarm clock, I have dreams!