I'm just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I'm unlucky enough to be a part of.

So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.

I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.

I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

Bipolar patients with grandiose delusions are essentially high on themselves.

"ISS: The only class that gives you experience in 'Ninja Sleep Training'"

It's like I was chasing after you and I really, really wanted to catch you. But now I realize if you wanted to be caught, you would have stopped running.

Boobs: because you can't suck on a girls personality.

Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn't enough.

Money isn't always around and around
Money find the way to living for survive

sometimes, you will try to run,
Sometimes, you will try to hide,
Sometimes, you will try to escape,
But it doesn't exist.