Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.

Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping?...Ha, try online dating.

Best way to get out of a text convo: "The message could not be delivered due to a temporary network setup error. Please try later. Error 2128-226110"

I'm outta here like a deaf kid in a game of musical chairs.

Warning: I just get weirder.

Friend laying on my arm: "Why are you vibrating?"

Me: "Didn't you know I come equipped with a pleasure setting?"

My entire drawing table burst into laughter.

Why aren't we letting blind people think that dragons are real?

Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don't have to hear what she's talking about.

Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.

"If someone calls you weird take it as a massive compliment,It's a million times better than being dull."-Bribry aka Brian