I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.... Nice A$$!!!!!!!

Isn't it a pitty that the pretty kitty actually turned out to be quite shitty

Are you free tomorrow? No, I'm fcuking expensive.

I don't blame you for hiding your Facebook page...if I had told as many lies and was as ugly as you, I would hide mine too...

You know what a flagella is?

Its a cell penis.

(:

Marriage is a three ring circus. An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring

I always have friends to turn to when guys act dumb. Their names are Ben and Jerry.

When guys get jealous, it's actually kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War III is about to start.

Someday, you'll find your Prince Charming. Mine just took a wrong turn,got lost,and was too stubborn to ask for directions.

Yes you may have my heart under your bed in a shoebox, but I have your favorite hat :P