IF Y0U D0N'T LiKE ME, THERE'S N0THiNG i CAN D0.
NEWSFLASH, H0NEY:
i D0N'T LiVE T0 PLEASE YOU!!!!
(love this quote)

If men had periods they'd brag about the size of their tampons

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?

I've learned that you cant make someone love you ,all you can do is stalk them till they panic and give in

You know what would look great on you? Me.

Husband: hey hunni did u miss me?

wife: with every bullet so far

Talking is the *second* best thing you can do with you're lips...

[[based on actual events]]
girl: oh snap. i gotta fart.
friend: i think i'm gonna walk away now...
girl: noo wait. you have to listen and tell me what you think it smells like.

When you say you love her, look at her eyes and not at her chest!

I don't want your boyfriend.
no one wants your boyfriend.
that's why he's with Y0U.