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>>Shopping<< is cheaper than a psychiatrist!! |
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If you had sex 365 times a year and melted all the condoms down to make a tyre, wat wuld u call it? |
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Trying to win a woman is like trying to win poker. If you try to win through a bluff and she calls, you lose. If you raise too early she'll get scared and fold and you'll only end up with a few chips. |
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Alcohol; |
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I was thinking about love and realized i couldn't figure out why cupid was chosen to represent valentine's day. when i think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon! |
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This is for the guys..... |
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Kids in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seats cause kids-not by me |
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You can't fix a broken heart, try as you might it will never be completely fixed. There is only one alternative, DUCTTAPE!! *laughs hysterically* |
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If we could bottle your luck we would have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands |
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May the flies of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch......... AMEN |