God has seemed to have given me the ability to understand what people want to hear, and then say what they need to hear.

They say honesty is the best way to go. But how do you tell someone that you were dreaming about them? You don't, you lie and say it was a nightmare.

"say hello to my little friend."

"I'd rather not..."

Thinks procrastination is a lot like masturbation... At first it seems like a really fun idea, but in the end you realize that you're just f**king yourself

Has already met Mr Player, Mr Bullshiter, Mr f**kabout, Mr Jealous, Mr Slag, Mr 'Issue', Mr Stress, Mr 'I think with my knob' so is Mr Right next? Doubt it

Girls say its not the size of the boat that counts, its the motion in the ocean... Well its pretty f**kin hard to get to England in a row boat.

Clothes are overrated, panties are debated

He is the kinda person to try to drown a fish. but you know what, i do too. :)

If you have someone that will put up with you still doing sidewalk chalk at 30 don't ever leave them .

Keep playing with it and it might break.