Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.

Chocolate makes the world go round, around the waistline.

I wonder if people who decide to try crack saw a crackhead and thought, yeah that.

Whoever said that change is as good as a holiday either A: has never been on holiday, or B: needs to change his/her medication :-P

People are like avocados, we all look the same genotypically, some are nice and ripe, others rotten, but you never know till you cut it open what you'll get :-P

I'd bury you, but I'm afraid more idiots would grow.

Worrying: a waste of imagination.

Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.

Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I'm not falling for that.

I May Not Know Art
But I Do Know The Stylistic Anticendants Of
Cubism.