Hannah Montana was in Louisiana when she ate a banana that she got in the Savannah! Beat that ^_^

Facebook Stalking:
Because I'm to lazy to actually stalk you

I saw this really fat man on TV one day. I made a rude comment and my friend told me beauty was only skin deep. Well, it would be a long search for that guy.

A true friend may not always be there when you cry but hey, that doesn't mean they dont care
Cuz even a murder can appear on a murder scene but that doesn't mean they didn't kill.

I'm an Athiest... But not a hardcore one, thank God.

"Why do we have middle fingers?"

"Because i cant tell you how much i hate you with my pinkie"

If a man has a baby and you have a problem with it then fck you.

People come up to me and say, "do people really come up to you?"

I got a king sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable. "Oh, you're a king, you say? Well you won't believe what I have in store for you! It's to your exact specifications!"

Alcoholism is a disease but it's the only the disease you can get yelled at for having. Damnit Otto you're an alcoholic. Damnit Otto you have lupus. One of these doesn't sound right.