On this stage called life, the audience can't hear your thoughts. Speak them! Show by action! And keep the audience captivated.

I'm not racist. I hate everyone equally.

You know you're a mexican when you share the same social security number with all of your amigos

Hey!! do you know what iowa stands for?
it stands for Idiots out walking around!
(and the gay part is im from iowa)

Im nobody
and noboby is perfect
then im perfect

"MY GOD MAN" said Sir John."Why the hell is there no cookie on my plate?"

"Well my friend" says Sir Orr "Because I ate it as if it were mine.

"Good to know. Carry on." says Sir John.

To err is human.
To arr is a pirate.

If women were made of glass, you still wouldn't be able to see through them...

The answer to the worlds problems!!!!:
get the hungry to eat the homeless

sorry i dont mean to offend anyone:)

Slinkies are fun, but reminded of people they give me, one falls downward on the stairs, no matter who is the witness, there is always a smile.