Ford was created to keep reta*ds out of holdens

People have the privilege to be stupid, some just abuse the privilege.

PHD? Does that stand for passion, hopes and dreams?

Only in America...do we sell hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8.

Light travels faster than sound. that is why people seem bright until they speak.

I saw a dude, he was wearing a leather jacket, and at the same time he was eating a hamburger and drinking a glass of milk. I said to him "Dude, you're a cow. The metamorphasis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I'll tip you over."

It's about time we've added some color to the white house!

But no guards appeared- of course, they never show up when you really want them to.

Her: I heard they're making a school for gays.
Him: Wait, don't we already have a school like that?
Her: What's it called?
Him: High school musical.

lmao!

People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.