They've found something that can do the work of 10 men.....

a woman

I hope your face came with a receipt!

Smile if youre not wearing your undies :]

[Me] You`re crazy

[Friend] Your mother!

[Me] Don`t talk about your grandma like that

Great Come Back

Stand out:

Wear black on Valentine's Day
And Pink on Halloween

I definitely won't drink responsibly.

If you cant laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you!

It is better to look stupid than to open your mouth and prove it!

Why are freeways really expensive to build and highways really close to the ground?

again, from my friend Stephen

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be misquoted and used against you.