She got her good looks from her father;
He's a plastic surgeon

"There are at least 750 ways to annoy people, trust me i've counted because they all go to my school."

Dear Maths,
You have GOT! to learn to solve your own problems,
I've already got enough problems of my own and stop giving me failing grades...

Bad cop, no donut

“I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.”
-August Srindberg

Mom + Dad + beer - condom = me

"When someone makes you feel bad just remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to reach over and slap a Bitkh".
-Jay Tubbs

You know Santa Clause can really be very scary...

"he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes!."

That's really enough to make someone paranoid....

I called your boyfriend gay.. and he hit me with his purse...

Note to Self:
Don't eat pink insulation. It's not cotton candy...