“Happy Loner” by Marina.

“Anything 4 U” by Banks on repeat tonight.

I will be back in my hometown in a week's time in nearly six months and I am not sure how it is going to feel. So many memories and feelings I wish to wash away but, yet, they linger.

"Put the gun in my mouth, it tastes so bitter / I feel so alive here" - No Jesus Christ by Seether.

Burn by Banks echoing in my head this morning, filling me with bittersweet smiles. “And you’re living in your mind / and nostalgia holds you in dark places / but I’ll be here just in case you decide you want some help / we can face it.”

“Oxygen” by Emeli Sandé hitting me hard this morning.

I crave the rush of nicotine, the way it turns my fingertips into a tingling blur of motion. How I can feel it in my toes. Can close my eyes and just be, for just a moment.

The Listening by Lights stuck in my head today.

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner" is: No one is better than you, the world deserves to see you shine, to be heard, loved, see you dance never let anyone hide who you are.

(The quote came from the movie Dirty Dancing).

Lose yourself
to come to yourself.