Missed My Wedding

The wedding was on Tuesday,
At 7:00 A.M.
It should have been a good day,
If the groom chose to attend,
He would arrive late at night,
Looking a fright,
And his excuse would bring,
Little delight.

As I woke up this morning,
I saw that it was five,
I flew into the bathtub,
It was practically a dive,
I dressed in a hurry,
I didn't want to be late,
I really am sorry,
It must be the workings of fate.

I walked out the door,
It sure was a bad one,
Right into a gang war,
They were fighting like mad men,
The police sirens were coming,
I ran away real fast,
A bicycle cop caught me,
But that's all in the past.

I was taken to an empty room,
I sat down in a chair,
The police chief walked right in,
And grabbed me by my hair,
He asked me why I was running,
Of course I told the truth,
That today was my wedding,
The day I take my oaths.
They let me go within the hour,
I headed to the church,
When a U.F.O. that looked like a flower,
Came at me with a lurch,
It pulled me up inside,
By then I was crying,
My attempt had been denied,
I truly felt like dying,

When to my great surprise,
They asked if I needed a lift,
I looked at them with watery eyes,
And thanked them for this gift,
I stood up straight and tall,
And in a voice I didn't know,
I said down to Luther's Hall
And boy, did they go,

We flew across the galaxy,
Past planets far and wide,
I can't find a word to rhyme with galaxy,
But it sure was some ride,
By the time we made it back to earth,
Several hours had already gone,
I landed roughly in the dirt,
And crawled across the lawn,

The doors of course were locked,
I sadly couldn't see,
I knew I would be mocked,
If the wedding began without me,
I knocked upon the door,
And that's where you come in,
I fell upon the floor,
And knew that I was done,

So that's why I was late,
I hope you will agree,
We should start with a clean slate,
And have the wedding at three.
This story was purely fictional, do not, I repeat, do not use excuses similar to this if for some reason you are late for your own wedding. The man in this story, was never able to marry after this sad encounter. If you ever have even the slightest chance of being late, call a cab.