Life is beautiful

by cruz   Feb 8, 2008


Just open your eyes and see life is beautiful
you can't live until you die
you can't breathe until you choke
it's to laugh about it called a joke
death in the room see what to do
but just open your eyes it's not real
until you think it is
see what ever in the other world is making
you think is a deep dark
depression no one to help you
calling you witch no one just open your eyes
still doesn't work make it a choice you
have make your life beautiful

inspired by the best six a.m life is beautiful got by them

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Letty

    I agree with the other comments. This poem needs some work also. I really didn't get your meaning of the poem; and it was hard to follow because of the structure of it. As I suggested before, go over it and edit, and then resubmit it. Good luck!

    Letty

  • 16 years ago

    by Jason

    I don't follow the title in the poem itself. The poem's flow is confusing, and I notice the first line is the only one in this poem that's starts off with a capitalized word.

    The message I get from reading this is "Life is SCARY." But even that message that "I" see is not clear enough.

  • 16 years ago

    by erin girl

    I agree with your first comment. The MAIN idea is great, but watch your flow and your transitions. It starts to make more sense once it has rhythm.

  • 16 years ago

    by Cathie

    Its a bit hard to find the ryth and flow in this poem. it somehow seems like some of the words are misplaced and you need to use signs to make it readable and easy on the eyes...
    i like the message though. thats why i give you a 3 - go through the poem and check gramma (add signs) and then submit it again! :-)

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