In the End

I never in my life thought losing the girl meant losing my world Everything about this girl is wonderful, she is perfect in every way, Love can be used in many ways I love this girl in every one of them Never did I want to hurt her, I can't see myself going through life without her. In the end she is my light from my deep dark past, in the end I will always love her. I wonder everyday why an angel like her waste her time with a nobody like me. In the end the answer is "Maybe she loves me" my brain knows it. My heart refuses to believe it, In my heart I know I love her. Oddly enough I would choose her even over jewel [if you know me you understand] Everything used to be so perfect, everything was how it should of been Now I've lost the girl, the dark creeps forward as her light disappear All I can think is "Why?" the famous question that never gets answered Why was I so stupid? Why did I leave her? What was I thinking? In the end I was thinking "She deserves the best and you aren't it" Now I sulk and wonder "Will she ever find the best?" she's so young. Am I making a mistake by saying I love her, is she confused? Am I worth it? Questions race through my head as my heart pounds col sweat rolling down my forehead as I try to sleep, No use all I see when I close her eyes is the smile of a goddess. For me it's painful knowing I could of ruined it all, thoughts of suicide run through my tiny mind as I lay in bed cold, lost, confused, I stare what seems like for ages at the white ceiling picturing her face, hearing her laugh, knowing I could make her happy. I sigh and roll over one name goes through my mind "Summer" a tear rolls down my face and onto my pillow I smile as the blood stains the white pillowcase. I shake my head in disgust as my hands start to shake I stare at the phone awaiting her call, hoping to hear her voice one last time. I tell myself Stay strong there will be more, in the end I know it's all a lie something to distract me from the truth, I knew in the end I will always love her. In the end....we all make mistakes very few of us are man enough to admit what we did was wrong and continue on in life. Those who will with no doubts come out with the girl, those who will but can't swallow their own damn pride will come out empty handed....I was one of those guys. I love the girl, I need the girl....The girl is you.