I try to run
Away from my tears
But i fear
That my heart will be
Forever scarred
All the pain i thought i felt
Wasn't a dream
It was real
Every night
I stay up late
Because of my frights
My fear,
Of closing my eyes
And opening them
Just to see I'm alone, again
I hate all these feelings
Fear, loneliness, hate, depression
They make me weak
They make me cry
They make me bleed
And they make me sigh
I'm alone
But i can't cry
Because I'm
Forever scarred
I'm like a little girl
I'm always happy
But that's my mask
Because deep inside
My heart cries
Just to die
Instead of believing lies
The world hates me
Why can't you leave it be
That i just don't belong
Because when people ask why
I just want to cry
I look to my wrists
And see my past
Forever scarred
My eyes tear up
As i hold in the sobs
And even the screams
So i run to a lake
With a waterfall
And surrounding darkness
I look at the crystal clear lake
And see a lost soul
Staring at the tear-stained face
Wanting to cry again
And since I'm alone
The tears freely flow
Down my cheeks
As i punch the darkening ground
Letting out my screams
Screams of anger
Of hatred and confusion
Of sorrow and grief
But mostly of pain and lost
Once I'm done
Hours have passed
And no one cares
Forever scarred
By loneliness
By hurt
By happiness
And even by love
I loved those around me
My friends
My family
But when i needed them most
They just walked away
As if they never knew me
As they walked they smiled
They even laughed
As i felt my heart shatter
And then become numb
Now being
Forever scarred
My hands are red
Because of my feelings
And what they've said
All the pain that i hide
It's made me cry
So now my heart's bleeding
All because of love
And because of them leaving
I sit here and watch
As the sky grows dark
And stars come out to play
My tears crystallize
And change in a way
But i don't realize
That they stay
Forever scarred
So as i watch the night sky
I find myself wondering why
Why pain feels like this
Why can't i
Open my heart
Open up to others
To myself
It's because I'm scared
That if i love again
That history will repeat
And this pain will double
And my heart will stop beating
I'm strong in strength
In pride and mind
But I'm weak in heart
In hope and trust
So i watch others smile
As i walk a mile
To a place
The one of my birth
The start of my hate
The beginning of my depression
My most hated place
The one of my banishment
The one of my pain
Forever scarred
Am i
One day I'll fall to my knees
With my cries
Telling of my aching heart
My hurting chest
My shattered hope
My destroyed dreams
Even of my dieing soul
But no one even listens
So here my heart stands
At the lake's edge
As i start walking in
No, I'm not going for a swim
Because i don't know how
I'm going to drown
Just to prove
That my heart's
Forever scarred
As i go under
I can hear crying
The cries of a little girl
Who was never loved
Who was never listened to
Who was never helped
And because of others
She's now paying the price
For living part of a life
So she cries in despair
Wishing she'll die
And now
Her wish is being granted
Because that little girl
Was me
So now,
As i slip away
I can see
How my wounds
Will never heal
Leaving me
Forever scarred.
