Her Cliche Tragedies

"She lives through all her cliche tragedies
With a smile burned onto her face
And all she ever wanted was to just fit in
To know that in this world, she had a place "

^^ This is true for almost all of the world, we just want a place to fit in and know that we have a purpose.The first two lines were magnificent, and the last two lines were pure truth.

"The roses she had once admired
The beauty of its crimson red
Has been stained into a pitch black color
From the thoughts that linger through her head "

^^ This is one of my favorite stanzas, the first two lines i read i wasnt sure where you were going with it, and then i read the last two lines, and it fit perfectly, i loved it.

"Burdened with deceitfulness
Her jaded oppression remains concealed
Not a word of it she speaks
For fear of what she may reveal "

^^ for me i didnt really like the first two lines, decietfulness just doesnt sound like a great word for that part. The last two lines were good, i felt like it was the climax of the poem(i.e, wat she may reveal)

"Impossibilities have overwhelmed her heart and soul
And she's been overcome by these surreal complexities
Through all of this affliction she endures
She still cloaks the pain from all her cliche tragedies "

^^ This is a great ending to this poem. Loved it, no critism for this last part.

Over it was a great read. Vocabulary was good and the rhyming again was also good, it never seemed forced. The flow was off in a spot or two, but it affected the poem in a good way. I think this definetly(sp) deserved a 5/5

(sorry.. let me just continue).. this one is a beautiful poem which i'm sure a lot of people can relate themselves into because i'm sure each of us sometimes try so hard just to fit in our society. great work!! (again sorry i accidentally posted a lot)

All i could ever say is WOW

All i could ever say is WOW

All i could ever say is WOW