It's like a new
World;
You rest
In your darkness
As I
Carry you
Through the light.
Failed intimacy
Not a curse,
But fate.
You are my fate,
Even
In your darkness.

fav lines

I have not read this one , and I am in the mood to comment . May get my mind off the other problems in my life . So here it goes - Alrighty , the title . Simple but I know you tend to turn simple into complex . So let ` s start reading . . .

First : Wow , in Language Arts class we are doing poetry , and my teacher said how not all of your thoughts have to be in the same line . Which I already knew , but you did it in a great way . I love it . A great way to open your poem .

Second : Omg . I love this stanza . Makes me want to cry . I am not sure for what reason , but it is just beautiful . And by " your darkness " I think that you mean that persons hardships and trials ? Just my thought . But I love the way you did the last four lines . The way I read it made it even more amazing . Great job .

Third : You really are going to make me cry . The language in this piece is simple , but the love being represented is amazing . Pure love . Although the format is a bit different , you still manage to use punctuation . Which is not over the top , but is still there . Lines four through six are beautiful as well . See you added a complex thought in there . Lol .

Fourth : Hmm . This one , I think the poem could have survived without it . It is kinda short and how do you say it - dinky . Lol . Not saying that it made the poem bad of course . Because it didn`t .

Fifth : Ohh I like this one . But did you forget the other bracket ? Lol . Probably not . I am just weird like that . But another great stanza . Strong emotion but simple word usage . I love the flick of a switch thing . Funny yet serious . Great job .

Sixth : The emotions here seemed a bit mixed . I liked the questioning though . I also like how you continue using the " in your darkness " line . It really adds something . And does not seem repetitive at all .

Seventh : Ohh the trust factor . I think this piece has to do a lot with trust as well . Just my thought though . But anyways , a simple but emotion filled stanza . I liked it :]]

Rest of the poem : It was kinda dumb to keep doing it stanza by stanza . Lol . But the rest of the piece , was amazing . I loved the ending . Omg . So sweet . And I see the end of the bracket now . That is quite clever my friend . Overall , an amazing job . I loved the simplicity , but you never lost the feeling . It you get what I am saying . Again , great job .
5 . 5

Amber .

Wonderful poem
some of the lines were really great
well done
xx