Very awesome poem man! damn! so full of emotions that words came to life and can be really felt... nice! =]

First, it was chilling and intense if you take away everything but the basic plot of this poem, then add in the quotations which added an interesting idea. But some of the wording just felt off, such as ache and other words that fell flat instead of lifted this poem off the ground. I don't know how to explain it other than that.

Very good story. Although it rhymed, the flow was a little off for me.

"And decided life were too much to take"
the correct grammar is
"And decided life was too much to take"

also
"And With a swift move stuck it above his hand"
i reccommend making the "w" in "with" lowercase.
it looks weird.

just thought you needed to know these. Sad story, explained very well.
5/5

Wow, this poem left me breathless. The emotion in it was great. It had such a good feeling it almost made me cry. The story developed so much passion. The rhyming was really good. One of the best poems I've ever read of yours. 5/5

.:CiNdY:.

Your description and imagery was amazing, forreal. lol. And you expressed you emotions so well in this piece. And this is a very well thought out piece. :] And yet again, this poem is too amazing to simply choose just -one- favorite stanza. simple amazing. 5/5.

Brilliant!
what makes the story complete is how you put stanzas together with synonims (spirit-feeling-emotion)
and how the meaning lies behind this story is also awesome
the poem brilliant, but i thought it'll fit "dark poems" section better

Awww! Saddness! :[[ I liked the emotion, and you're really good at using words just right to make the story amazing. Again, the flow was off. :/ Try using around the same syllables in each line.

He lived his entire life as it seem
^^I THINK seem is suppose to me seems. :]

Take care!
Cayce

An endless river of blood is flowing underneath
Cut veins are the source for this terrible pain
A sad story of a heart dead down beneath
A tale of a being who had nothing to gain
--wow,amazing,gave me alot of great imagery!
definetly 5/5
keep writen

This poem is pure brilliance - the emotion and the descriptions are awesome!

This was such a sad poem, but you made it work. It was a very good poem, full of emotion and everything. I absolutely loved it.

When I got to the end, I almost went, "aww." cause it was so sad. 5/5

Wow, this poem was absolutely, incredibly amazing. It showed so much emotion, that kinda freaked me out. Anyway, the flow was great. I can't point out any flaws in this poem. It shows so much emotion. Great job!

.:CiNdY:.

Waw, its clear to me that you got the talent to be good poet ,i love this poem and you write it it in amazing way and i love the flow an the rhyme its realy good well done 5/5 and i feel its so sad and dark.