Her Final Goodbye

by Emilline   Feb 13, 2008


She looks at the world through watered eyes
Holding on to the hope that she will get her final goodbyes
Walking through paths of needles and fire
She cries to herself alone not knowing love was dire

Tears fall to the ground where her battered feet walk
She's lived this way for so long the pain was no longer a shock
Hollow depths of empty despair fill her head with fear
Promises she makes to herself no longer sound sincere

She knows everything won't be just fine
But she's looking for hope, she's looking for a sign
She feels the breeze blow around her hard chest
Pushing her down into her very own distress

Her body sways from side to side
She can't hold herself any longer, she's already tried
She lets her weight pull her down where she longs to be
Where angels come and take her away oh so swiftly

She looked at the world through watered eyes
She never got her final goodbye

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Raychil

    This poem was beautiful and deep.
    Its so meaningful and amazing, I loved the flow and the perspective. I loved it altogether.
    <3Raych

    thanks for commenting on my poem.

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    A very beautiful write. It was simply amazing. The beginning really drew me in and I just couldn't stop reading! The flow was flawless! And I really liked the repitition of the first two lines and the last two lines. It really works. And this piece just blew my mind away! lol definitely 5/5.!

  • 16 years ago

    by Lemma

    I liked the rhyme, as for the ending, maybe using the first stanza but changing it to the past tense. Or even just

    "She looked at the world through watered eyes,
    And this is what led to her final goodbye."

    Something to bring the title into it so that you wouldn't need to change that too. I really enjoyed this though, especially the part about making promises to herself.

    Em xXx

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Hey nice poem here. I like it and everything, but maybe don't try to focus on rhyming I too used to go to rhyming dictionarys and focus if words weren't exactly matched up right then I'd thrown in a word I didn't want to use. And I think that's what your doing so just focus on the emotion and then if you still don't like it then change it.
    5/5
    kaila

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