Could use some help make it flow a little more open up more and if its supposed to be confusing you should open all the way up to the readers

Wow, Okay, First of all; This poem almost brought some tears to my eyes. You're an EXCELLET writer. & I love the way you can peice things together. & Last, You have a good style if writing, I just noticed that we use the same Format, haha. It's pretty common though I guess. By Format I mean: Where we put 4 lines and then space it out. (:
Anyways, excellent job 5/5 ! -Amirah.

I really liked this one. I think it's my favorite so far.