I am killing myself

This is me
who i am

i cant change myself
no matter how much i try

i put on a smile
i cant let you in

try as i may
you nevr will win

i want to love you
i want to need you

but i cant help this feel
that every time you say "i miss you"
i cant believe you

my doors always shut
the keys in my hand

but when ever you knock
i cant let you stay

i give myself reasons
a way to get out

so if you did leave
i could still be okay

these feelings i have
they are killing me

because the reason youll leave me
is all just because of me