Dont play with knives

When this began
I had no sense of truth
Or recognition of memories

I never did understand
In my youth
Why people had enemies

My eyes were open wide
But I could not see
The bad things in life

"lets play (hide
And go seek)"
A game about foresight

"dont play with knives"
thats what they would say
"What if you trip"

"I dont feel like a drive
To the hospital today"
Just stay there and sit

Those are some things from my past
Theyre simple
I know

Memories of good times that didnt last
A ripple
In river and snow

I grew up a little bit
But I still couldnt recognize
Right from wrong

And in a little bit
Hate and I would harmonize
With something that would go on far to long

Posing as a friend
A buddy
Like a brother

The beginning of the end
Bloody
And smothered

Bad things happened back then
When I was still a child
Things Ill never forget

Again and again
With a terrified smile
And Ill always regret

Every second of time
way back when
spent with him

Eight through nine
and into ten
spent in sin

My so-called friend
Turned out to be sick
Like you cant believe

But back then
I couldnt comprehend
What he was doing to me

Details are irrelevant
Meaningless
And Painful

But what is relevant
Is pointless
And distasteful

Its ironic
What I remember most
Is the preaching

In a bigger
Bigger dose
Came the teaching

Half the time
I tuned it out
The other half I just laughed at

But those memories of mine
That I regret now
Are because of just that

I shouldve listened
To what they told me
Now Im sitting here crying

Watching the blood glisten
As it drains from me
Now Im dying

No longer the beginning
This is the end itself

The angels are singing
"youve killed yourself"