I like the flow, I think it symbolises the way you just want to communicate to your father the way you feel. It's simple and uncomplicated and makes it easy to read. AND may I just say...

"I've tried consuming compassion, but the taste is too tart"

What FANTASTIC alliteration! That line is my absolute favourite. Mellifluous, what a great word. Another 5/5 from me =)

Em xXx

*Absolutely

Hmmm...typing is going down the pan a bit here, think it's time for me to get some sleep haha.

This is an awsomepoem:)
keep it up 5/5

This was a stunningly amazing piece! And I absolutely love it! You expressed yourself through these plethora of emotions captured within your poem. And it just. .blows me away! lol. Anyway. This was a poem beyond amazing, that I don't think there's a word in the english language that would be able to surpass words such as amazing, deflectless, perfect, flawless, astounding, incredible, breath taking, extraordinary, impressive, stupendous, spectacular, outstanding, phenomenal, remarkable. .well I think you get the point. lol.
[they should create a word that combines all those just so I can be able to describe this poem!] lol. 89436879/5! :D:D

I thot it was good!!!
and i think the flow is fine
keep up the good work!
5/5

<3 i love you silly

I think this is a fantastic poem. Very well chosen words and very well structured. Rhyme could have been better but that's not important when you've written in such a strong way. You are a good talent!

This poem has some amazing descriptions. You describe every emotion and every action in an imagary and lively way, It's easy to imagine the whole story when you read the poem. The flow was a bit cut off because of the rhymes in some stanzas. Also, I think that the ending is a bit weak. Other than that, this poem is amazing, 5/5

I like this poem...you did a great job... i thought the flow was a little rocky and thats only because you made the 2nd line and the 4th line of each stanza rhyme...and each line was a bit long so it kinda through the flow off... but i think this would be a great nonrhyming poem.. i still thought the wording and everything was great so i still give you a 5/5.=]

This attempted murder of my soul has built up white rage
Bitterness and hatred have made a home in my sore heart
I'll drink my poison of fury, warm and sweet on my tongue
I've tried consuming compassion, but the taste is too tart

This is a strong beginning it lets you know what the poet is going through .. the rest of the poem is equally great with a strong ending .. the flow was a bit rough but it was a very good poem although flow was a bit rocky 4/5

Well the flow is a little awkward..but you did a great job fitting your emotions in..completely..and still making it poetic.

I think it waz awsome, like the flow

The only problem with flow is that it seems to drag on, you reveal very much early on, and instead of showing us you tell us such as using bipolar mind instead of showing what this illness feels like and how it effects somebody and then let the reader truley grasp the emotions. But, the title was pretty interesting, and showed the entire poem in just simple words, the detail, though narrative, was enough if you wanted it to be a narrative poem, the tone was very dark, and you can tell definately in the final lines, and the feeling was felt, if not as strongly as it could have been, it did reach out from the screen.

Good poem. I kind of went through something like this with my dad since he used to hit my mom. I liked it a lot. I know what you were feeling. Good job!

I agree about the flow but the images were great and the total contempt was fantastic great read I enjoyed it very much

This is amazing hun.
The flow and rhythm were good, I loved your use of vocabulary. You put in a lot of words that most of us don't use everyday, and it shows your intelligence remarkably. Great job!

I personally like the flow and feel of this piece. I think that if it was too structured it would take away from the feeling and from the actual message of the poem.

Your word choice was brilliant. The imagery and effect it created was great. Also, the emotions and anger radiating within this piece was amazing. (Like, I couldn't relate this poem to my own life at all but when reading this I felt like I was in your shoes).

I'm not usually into dark type poetry but you caught my attention with the title and kept it till the last line. 5/5

Alyssa. x

I think you a great writer and deserving of a stand ovation. and I bow before greatness. and surrender to the strong minded. 5/5

Mellifluous

I had to look this one up, smooth.

Whoa. Long lines. [takes a breath and digs in.] :].

"This attempted murder of my soul has built up white rage"
^^^
[I love the beginning line. It's a fantastic eye-grabber. (Which is important! =].]
"I've tried consuming compassion, but the taste is too tart"
^^^
[Uh-oh, cliche rhymes. I really dislike that, I must be honest. =/. Sorry, Gorgeous.]
"I'm just a shadow in your mind, an itch you can't scratch"
^^^
[Though this is an amazing line, I want you to check for me to make sure you didn't accidently hear it from somewhere. The "itch you can't scratch" part sounds <really> familure, and I don't want you banned for plaggerism. Perhaps just reword it a bit?]
"I'm singing this song with a melody of gashes and knives"
^^^
[I love this line. It's so raw and full of truth and emotion.. Brilliantly penned.]
[Also, there was cliche rhyming in the second stanza again.. Not good. It weaks the poem, for me, anyways.]
"I've endured your negligence for seventeen dejected years"
^^^
["Negligence"? Is that a word? If it is, forgive me. And as for "dejected years" I love the wording.]
"You're frightened by my intellect, you thought had not aged"
^^^
[When I first read it, this line didn't make sense to me. It does now that I reread it, but it was a little confusing at first.]
"Your sweet atrocious girl is not leaving her emotions caged"
^^^
[Nice tie-up of the stanza. I really liked this line.]
"I'll wave a blissful good-bye, with my violent stained hands"
^^^
[I love that they're "violent stained" hands instead of a cliche color. Very nicely thought out. ^.^]

Overall, a good job, once again. The flow wasn't too bad, except for maybe two places. Nothing to delete it over, though.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

The flow does indeed at glance seem a little chaotic...but it seems to be a wonderful stylistc flare to this wonderful peice of work.