Comments : Tear Drops two

  • 16 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    "They spent months looking for her
    some thought she maybe disappeared
    cause she didn't want to be looked at
    for the words she wrote
    some thought god called her home
    to hold her and whisper better words
    to explain there are people out there
    that will hurt you"

    I like this start of your poem. It creates a good image in my head. Its a perfect start to this poem very well done.

    "she changed her name
    she married a man
    her poems got published
    her book got burned
    she has found a love
    she has found a life
    she counts the blessings she receives
    and when she does
    she counts her husband twice
    he bought that book
    he reads each page out loud
    she stands in the bathroom mirror
    hearing his voice reading her words
    shes just realized how much shes changed
    he doesn't know that she wrote each one
    but he tells her everyday"

    I like how your putting in a time line here of what is going on this with character in the poem. It makes this a worth read, makes readers want to read more and want to find out what is going on with this girl.

    "she says you'll hold her tight!?
    he says yes but not as tight as i hold you"

    This is my favorite part of the poem. Its so sweet and cute I loved it. It was perfect. Good job.

    "he whispers soft words
    shes never herd before "

    I love your ending, you didnt say exactly what he said to her. but your readers know what she said which is a good thing. Normally poets would say exactly what he said but I like how you left it up to the readers to contemplate what he said to her. It was a good ending to this poem. I enjoyed reading this very much good work. You should check out some of my poetry sometime : D