by HidinVictim Feb 15, 2008
category :
Love, romance /
lost love
What do you do |
by KJ
This was a very beautiful write. I would have to agree with Crystal Gaze when it comes to the flow though. It seems as if you were trying so hard to get the rhyme, that you interrupted the flow. But the voice was heard as I was reading, which is always good. |
by KJ
I agree with Crystal Gaze. You did an amazing job with the voice in this poem. Though the flow was a little rough. I would say that you shouldn't focus so much on the rhyme, more on the emotion. |
by Deana
The sincerity comes through in this piece, Love can be very painful and you showed that pain with your words. |
by Crystal Gaze
Over all, this was a beautiful poem. It seemed you were speaking words from your heart.Though the flow was a little choppy, and the rhymes seemed forced, this poem was still well written. |