Desiderate

This poem is better than the last one I commented. This piece was rhymed better, and the structure was orginized. These things made it wasy to read and made it flow better. The only thing that ruined it a little bit for me was the ending. If you could have rhymed the last stanza, it would sound a lot better.

Nice job overall 5/5

This poem was better than the other one I read. The structure was more orginized and so it was easier to read. I liked the rhymes and the high language of this poem. As I recall, all of your poems are written in a high level english vocabulary, which makes them so amazing.
The ending is the only thing that could be written better, it broke the flow a little.

Overall good job 5/5

"I contemplate the past
For the days of way back when
Before words were so tainted
Before lies were so common"

This part ^^ really speaks for itself, its a very strong introduction.

"I long to be a part
Of the innocence I want back
Before I let society take over
For freedom is what I lack"

"My conscience craves for the times
Of my ignorant desires
Before depression ruled my heart
From being broken by those liars"

^^ ok, the first two lines i wasnt very fond of, but the last two were great, even though it was a simple couplet it was very strong and powerful.

"My soul yearns for my childhood
For the times when promises weren't broken
When tears were so obscure
And no words were left unspoken. "

^^ this is my favorite part, its pretty much what i had said to a friend the other day, because back in elemntary school, things were so easy, and everyone spoke there mind. Brilliant.

"My heart pines for the distant past
That so quickly disappeared
For the times of such simplicity
Before lusting the yesteryears. "

^^ this was a great ending to a magnificent poem.

All in all i thought this was an amazing poem. THe rhyming was pretty good, it never seemed forced. I like how the begininnig(sp) of each stanza was along the lines of "wanting" something,(i.e, longing, pines). a well deserved 5/5

^^ this is a true statement about many people. We usually let society form and mold us into the people that we are. Another very good and very true stanza.

5/5.
My soul yearns for my childhood
For the times when promises weren't broken
When tears were so obscure
And no words were left unspoken.

Your poem portrays the dissatisfaction of the reality of adulthood. At least as a child we had the right to dream of things that may never come true. As adults we are plagued by constant since of responsibility. I might be said that "all those liars" were the adults who told you you could be what ever you wanted to be when you were just a child (and you believed them only to grow up to find yourself lusting for yesteryears. Nicely done. Bravo to you.

My heart pines for the distant past
That so quickly disappeared
For the times of such simplicity
Before lusting the yesteryears. .

these two stanzas make the poem

Very beautifully written. I love the concept to this poem... its really deep. The flow was good, the word choice was great, and the concept was amazing... Very beautiful write worthy of a 5/5