Life is like ascending a mountain. you start at zero. the music on your iPod is turned on, 110% Volume. There is this power, being excited, pushing you on. There is the target, high above you.
you watch the peak and think how close it seems. You start, you smell the leaves under your feet. How they shape under the burden of your steps, wood cracks and you are full
of energy.
You climb it alone. It's easier that way. And this is YOUR mountain, YOUR target. No one else's. The confidence remains in you but the further you go, you lose faith.
The way is steep and full of obstacles. The first break for you seems earlier than you expected. You turn around, the music is off. Silence. Finally you recognize that you
go your own way, you follow your instinct. There is no clear way apart, but your emotions lead you. The music goes on.
In the expectation that you reach the peak soon you stumble over stones, branches and holes. The solitude gets frightening. As you turn around you recognize what you leave behind,
you know what it is. And you see what's in front of you. A long steep "way", you can't even call it "way", because it's hidden. No one around, you turn the music off, don't want to
miss the sound of something being around, coming closer. In front of you is still the ascending slope and you lost your target. It has faded away under the trees which surround you.
In despair you start to run, still you hear nothing except your own footsteps, wood is cracking. Far away screams something that you can't identify. Now even everything you left behind
is in dark shadows too, you can't look back. The distance in front of you, unknown. The way you came, forgotten. You stop. Out of breath. You start to ask yourself about the sense of it all.
realizing that you have to continue, that the past is done and that it's irreparable you decide to go on. You have no breath left, your lungs break down under the burden of your breath.
You seem exhausted but you don't want to go back.
Everything would have been unnecessary.
There is this pain, it seems like suffocating you. The way is so steep that you can move forward just slowly. And with great attempts. "No, i won't give up." Your own speed starts to
feel disgusting, you start to hate it. You forget your pain, you forget how to feel it. Everything that counts is that the target is just a few meters away from you.
But the distance just don't seem to decrease... GO ON!
You don't feel your own body. It's just something that is borrowed for some while. If there wasn't your will, you would faint. The silence starts to get amusing. You are there.
Finally you see that you've made it there. In front of you there's an awesome view, marvelous, something you didn't expect. You turn around. And you are proud. Everything that is behind you,
it is a part of you, but it's past. It just lives now WITH you, inside you. In front you see again.. enjoy. You sit down and close your eyes. Smell. Feel. Not think. You are free.
After a long time you open your eyes. Everything seems clear. You know who you are. You see all these mountains and valleys surrounding you. And at every peak of these mountains is some personal victory.
But the valleys are deep.. Will you leave down-wards again? And you will.
