BROKEN

Brief moments of clarity. then a long stretch of blankness. this is how my mind is functioning. i look at others in their eyes as they speak to me. i hear nothing but my my own heart beat, and see nothing in their eyes but lies. hours in my room. my motivation is a thing of the past. why am i here? do i really have some purpose? one i call my best friend just taunts me on a regular. it's getting harder to get under my skin, cause i smell his own insecurities. maybe when one's life gets to be as repetitive and boring, they turn to another to inflict their misery on to. so, i shake it off. why let it get to me. it's obviously tearing him apart. I'm not a victim in this case. it's just easy for him to spit venom at the "best friend" in the room right next to his. my goals are getting harder to reach. not because they are far fetched. just living in a house of unrest, and a blankness that is consuming me puts them a bit farther away. so tired of living like this. thought i found the piece of my life's puzzle. he is more blank than me. so i tolerate shit on a regular. wanting to just give up on it all. no goals, no best friend, no relationship, no friends. "if you can dream it, you can do it". is that so? i really don't know. maybe i am just broken