Dear Myself/Dear God

Dear Myself:
I know life has been hard,i know that nothing will remain the same,everything will get worse from here.
I know all those nights you cried was all for a reason.
I know that your love for him will fade away and he will know that he does need you..that you truly did love him!
I know that after the darkness walked in nothing has been the same ever...The light has walked out and darkness has come to take over you..you just need to stay strong..you need to believe in the light...
I know that if you just believe the light will come back to remain..to remain in your heart forever..he wont let the darkness back in..he will push it out to remain out of your sight forever and eternity....
You just need to get down on your knees and tell him how you truly feel..you will not get in his way...he is everywhere you are..just think of him every step of the way...you need to be strong so that he will know this is fur sure not a trick.........

Dear God:
Are you listening?
i really need you right know..well you already know this but you took my friend..someone who i loved someone who i actually trusted in..he told me his deepest darkest secrets that he could never tell anyone...i hope that he is happy..but above all of this i wish you can love me..i wish that you could have showed him there is more to life than old drunks and druggies..i wish you could have shown him the light to get out...
Dear god i do love you...i will always love you but i will never understand why you take away my love,my friend,i don't know why you ,like to leave me dead hurt..
Dear god, i wish you well,i wish him well,i wish all the colors for the both of you,i don't ask for much,i don't really need to look the best,i just wish that you can give someone to me that will love me,i don't want to close another door,i want to be able to open more,please don't walk away from me,i will be nothing if i don't have you,you see through right to the heart of me,you break down my walls with the strength of your love,but at the same time you put them back up by all the pain you have introduced me too,i know that there is no where to hide but please don't make me close one more door,don't walk away from me,i would rather have nothing at all if i could have the both of you...
I imagine him here next to me in class than you made him walk away from me!!!!