The Great Burbank Driftwood Scare

I'd like to submit to you this little dittie,
about some of Burbank's local history,
called the great Burbank driftwood scare,

I was down at the river one fine sunny day,
picking up driftwood wherever it lay,
when up walked this man, he was wearing a badge,

he said to me, "son, why don't you come over here",
"I'd like to talk to you about these laws we hold dear",
"do you know it's illegal to pick driftwood up?",

he said to me, "son, your deteriorating the environment",
"destroying the habitat with reckless abandonment",
"and terrorizing the shoreline everywhere you've been",

well I held up my hand and said, "sir, can I say a word?",
"all of this fuss about driftwood is kind of absurd",
"it's here today and it's gone tomorrow",

well he puffed all up and started quoting federal law,
and statutory regulations with congressional clause,
and that's when I knew I'd had enough,

then he said, "son, I think that your in luck",
"I could make you take that driftwood back to where you picked it up",
"but I'm going to just give you a warning and let you go",

I said, "I appreciate that", and hopped in my truck,
saying to myself, "this is really going to suck",
"just one more thing that's against the law",

now this might not go down as a historical event,
but I'm one of the two that knows how it went,
the day of the great Burbank driftwood scare.