My Defeat

There's so much that I have missed
But I guess I got tired of waiting
I have a million reasons for enemies
But I guess I got tired of hating

I spend my nights trying not to drown
In the cold waters of this endless life
I spend my days walking around
Like my insides were stabbed with a knife

I'm waiting to feel something more
Trying to hide this hesitation to go on
I wonder if there's anyone out there
Who's feel the same way I have for so long

If I could describe this "pain" I hide under
I think I could get through to you someday
But it's like talking to a brick wall
And all I can do is say what I need to say

I can feel myself slipping underground
Six feet under in a box made of concrete
I won't struggle and I won't fight
I will simply lay there claiming my defeat

I hear you say you are still just the same
Just trying to understand why you feel this "pain"
But as the years progress and things don't change
I've realized there's no reasoning with such chains

And so we march forth in our little disease
Knowing well our days are only numbered now
All I ever wanted was for someone to hold me
And tell me that things will be ok somehow

But I know that things will be this way till the end
I have a debt to pay to the dead
So you can cry with me along this empty path
Or join me inside this hopeless head