Security Without Doubts

by Tammie   Feb 19, 2008


And so today began with raindrops
Shattered and scattered,
Falling on corrugated rooftops.

Beat, drop, beat.
Drop, beat, drop.
Stop and repeat.

So I laid there listening,
Forgetting and forgotten,
Long into the evening.

You stroked my hair, kissed my cheek,
Whispered sweet nothings,
And told me not to be weak.

Another day closer, one further,
Losing priorities between,
Yet never forgetting either.

One love went so astray,
Leaving a broken heart,
And an unforgettable day.

Then another came along,
Mending those pieces,
Until in my heart, did he belong.

So delicate did he feel,
Embraced in my arms,
It was almost unreal.

I never want him to disappear,
Or lose the beating sound,
Of his heart on my ear.

As I laid there listening,
To the beat of his heart,
And the drops while it was raining.

Beat, drop, beat,
Drop, beat, drop,
Stop and repeat.

Tired of constant pullouts,
With him I always have,
Security without doubts.

[[ I don't really like this at all, probably because I'm used to writing long lined poems now. I have to get used to these again. ]]

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    I really loved the title. :]

    Honestly, my first impression of this was "Ugh! Not another love poem!". I really don't enjoy reading love poems, because they're usually pretty much all alike in some way or another, but I really loved the opening lines. They really drew me in. "Shattered and scattered" <-- Those lines. I just love how they sound together when you read them. What I would change about the first line is take out the word "And". It's just not very appealing.

    Beat, drop, beat.
    Drop, beat, drop.
    Stop and repeat.

    ^^ Really loved those lines. It was as if I could really hear the rain beating down on the rooftops. They, also, intrigued me, and made me want to continue reading this poem.

    Whispered sweet nothings,

    ^^ Eeek. Big cliche. >.< But for some reason it seems to work, so I wouldn't change it.

    I'm not entirely sure what it was, but some stanza's were definitely harder to read than others. I think it was just I'm so use to reading four lines in a stanza that when there was only three it threw me off.

    Overall, it was a pretty good poem, considering I hate love poems. :]

    Great job!

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • 16 years ago

    by TwistedAngel xx

    I liked the poem.
    was a bit chop and change.
    but i still got the gist of it.
    keep writing.
    well done.

    xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    Hmm. The the beginning stanza really captured my attention and lured me in to read more. As the poem progressed though .. the flow and ideas became scattered and I became sorta lost. I liked the pace thought because it was fast paced yet meaningful. The last stanza didnt fit the poem for me ... it seemed out of place but overall the meaning and imagery behind the poem were great. Well done.

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