Don't Forget To Remember Me

Darling, Why have I not read this poem. I've read your latest but not this. I don't know why not but I am so glad that I decided to pop in to the page seeing as I havn't been here to comment in such a long time.

First off sweetie, I'd like to say well done with the sarcasm in the first stanza of this poem. It was bitter, Resentful and down right stinging. It really wrenched at my anger an boiled a feeling from deep down within. Loved it expecially this line below:

Star struck? You ask. No, fame never did appeal to me,

You mention the word appeal in that line, well tht damn line appealed to me. I loved it. The bitterness. It makes me teeth clench together. Yes, I'm odd. I know. But that line was amazing. Well done with it. You portrayed so much within so few words.

This blue ink runs violet when a rain of sorts drop,

Beautiful imagery within that line, I adored it. I could picture a raindrop or tear so to say with it's violet and blue colours hitting the ground with a spalsh.

Black blood runs cold in this rainbow of coloured clashes,

Loved the alliteration of that line. Really roles off the tongue. The imagery was also quite contrasted. You had a beautiful rainbow yet in my mind I could picture it covered in red and black blood to give a dark and eerie effect.

And between the words and the colours and the days,
There are too many in-betweens to define the dots from the dashes.

Ok, Yep. You hit me again with two very interesting lines. Expecially the last one. How can I describe how I feel about this poem? really. I can't it's too hard. I want to.. So i'll try.. You deserve it. I loved the use of dots and dashes. That's something a little different to what i'm used to hearing within poetry so it's good to see you've come up with something a little unique. The emotion from that was quite strong and the confusion which you portrayed was deep.

Don't forget to remember me when something better comes along,

That line is sweetly sad. So touching filled with sorrow and resentment. An adoring line.

Because we both know it always does and
I'm the only one worried,

I liked that. It went on well with your poem. Had a nice sound to it filled with so much emotion. A sorrowing feeling you portrayed over the atmosphere.

For old times sake lets do this dance before your blood runs dry,

That line. Fantastic, Tammie. Emotional yet again with so much portrayed.

And I'm left here yet again alone, to write another page wearied.

Hmm. Not so sure about the ending. I like it, but I don't think it's as strong as most of your other poems endings. It's too simple for you. The rest of the poem was filled with so much emotion, so much strength, deepness, style and sarcasm. This just seemed to stray away.

Overall I do like this poem. Alot. Your ending did not reuin it at all, It just didn't do it for me when I know your work. The flow was quite nice, the structure well done and the meaning and thoughts behind it, interesting. Well done sweets. 5/5. From me. ~Mel

Don't forget to remember me when something better comes along,
Because we both know it always does and I'm the only one worried,

tammie,
this poem rrealy relates to my sotry.

"I'm the only one worried" my favourite line. and offcourse the last stanza first two lines.

sometimes liittle words describes alot of feelings. i consider my whole life pains in those lines. realy brought tears from my eyes.

your title catched my attention and i opend this poem. i am happy that there are a nice writers as you are. realy great job. 5/5

your friend hassan

I really liked the thought behind this one. The emotions were easy for me to relate with and the meaning was heartfelt and true. I loved the imagery and your flawless use of words. Overall great piece. *5/5*

There isn't much words to describe this poem. this poem shouldn't be put in words but the word thats highest on here is excellent so this poem is excellent. 5/5 keep writing

Wow.. Speechless..