Games Of The Heart

Again with the game. I love this. It's almost like part two to "Depression Game". I like that repeating theme. This one is just as well penned and so full of emotions. It's subtle and yet just right. When reading it, you get that feeling of slowly dying in a painful way. You expressed that well. 5/5

Wow, another amazing write! You have so much talent, as I have said many times before.
Twist me and twirl me,
Into your optical illusion.
What you see is not what you get,
Sorry for the confusion.
This stanza was so well done, I got shivers, why I dont know. Just the wording and idea of the whole stanza...
5/5

While I can see that people can relate to this emotion of love that hurts or is not received, I think as a poem it could have been a lot better at expressing the pain instead of just feeling like words for a reader to look at.

You narrate. Yes, is this is a narrative poem which it most likely is, you would narrate. As a film student for a couple of years, I see it more as directing and telling something what to do. Let me give you an example:

Tear me to pieces,
One by one.
Repeatedly stabbing,
Hurry up and be done.

The reason this one is considered narrative, to me as narrative is basically telling a story, is because you use a lot of action words: Tear/ Stabbing/ and the directing: Hurry up and be done. Repeatedly is telling how much is going on in this, scene, of yours.

Now let's look at it as a non-narrative, non-directing, style:

Tear me to pieces,
One by one.
Repeatedly stabbing,
Hurry up and be done.

Pieces;
Cracked; broken
A shiver down; cold

Or something like that, I don't know, just trying ot make something up but I hope you get the message.

I think you should try inserting a metaphor here and there. You have optical i llusion but what does an optical illusion look like to you: an endless mirror pressed up against, a circle repeating itself, a fake that you can touch and yet would never have?

The rhyming stayed on track.

Tear me to pieces,
One by one.
Repeatedly stabbing,
Hurry up and be done
^^^
Touching stanza ... when it comes to the heart just hurry and deliver the pain so I can heal and move on is what this stanza screams to me ....

Mess with my mind,
Lead me to believe-
That forever will last,
just you and me.
^^^
Oh the beloved head games ... promises spit!

Twist me and twirl me,
Into your optical illusion.
What you see is not what you get,
Sorry for the confusion.
^^^
This stanza gave me the image of a kaleidoscope ....with the twisting and turning ... great imagery portrayed

This game is getting old,
So please make up your mind.
Choose to take my heart,
Or leave it all behind.
^^^
This stanza shouts ... just love me or leave me. Make up your mind.

Your title fits the piece perfectly and emotion slides through the lines as do ... tears to a face!
Nice read

Luanne

Loved it! Short sweet and to the point yet filled with so much power and profound emotions. The flow was flawless and nothing seemed forced which made it more of a joy to read.

"Yet you still rip at the seems,"
^I think you mean "seams"

well done *5/5*