Going Mad (in collaboration with neo)

The only way i am truly at peace is when i watch the blood flow
dark, thick, warm & flowing, even gushing
from my arms or the throat of another
relieving the pain for now
hands are stained in red again
the only way a sadistic mind functions is by watching others fail
the only real remedy. this is all i ever knew. too different for the others to conceive
every one says......One day you will hit rock bottom
I never hit it, i was born there
don't remember me
never existed
stuck in this head full of pure sick hate. I bring my own pain
always full of rage
hurting for the things I only wish I had
til my bloody hands are wrapped around another's neck
is this going mad?
they'll never understand,
not this time, not ever, not until I complete them.
I look at them from my distant world of fear & despair,
where only
I can survive.
they're so weak, sick and strangely tempting.
I feel my hands call my name,
though it sounds like forks on a plate
or a blackboard scratched with hate,
I have to listen because they're the only friends I ever had.
My tools,
My life,
My heartbeat.