Within... (contest)

by RobinAnn13   Feb 21, 2008


I can see the sadness
beneath the surface of your eyes
I can see your pain
that you cover up with lies

I can see the hate
you lock within your heart
I can see the love
tearing you apart

I can see your joy
in hearing other's screams
I can see your smile
when you tear apart their dreams

but I can also see within
to the child locked deep inside
You use these things as a shield
when all you want to do is hide

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Lemma

    I thought the repetition in this poem was really good, and the way you altered it at the end made it stand out and linked the title to the poem really well. The stanza that stood out most for me was:

    "I can see your joy
    in hearing other's screams
    I can see your smile
    when you tear apart their dreams"

    It was kinda evil and sinister,

    5/5

    Em xXx

  • 16 years ago

    by Sumit Ojha

    Good, good-work

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