Have You Ever

Really a great poem. very nice flow and nice wording, with maybe one little, tiny exception; Because you cant get that boy off your mind.

Somehow this line didn't seem right in the poem to me. just didn't mesh in well...just my opinion

I liked this. It's sweet, but it's sad. There were a few lines that stood out to me.

"Because you cant get that boy off your mind,
You can't foget about your past."

^^ "cant" -- can't. "foget" -- forget.

"Ever wanted to say "do you see me?"
Because in my dreams I always see you."

^^ I LOVED those lines. They're my favourite two in the whole piece.

Overall; I really liked it. You've written a good poem. Good job.

5/5

``Briana

Great choice of words n lovely flow. Ur poem is wel structured n sequenced. I wud suggest u 2 correct the typos. tc

"You sigh and hang your head down in shame."
i liked this line, but i think it fits better without using down and just saying head in shame
in a few places it seems like a stretch to rhyme the words in success.
i know this played my mind and heart. i felt this once. and its hard to get over.
"Have you ever needed someone,
But don't know if they need you too?
Ever wanted to say "do you see me?"
Because in my dreams I always see you."
this stanza started great, but the interest kind of degenerated when you repeated words a bunch and you played in another game for a few seconds.
"But then you catch a glimpse of reality,
And realize he doesn't feel the same.
As you see him kiss the girl he loves,
You sigh and hang your head down in shame. "
the heartbreaking stanza. perfectly placed. perfectly understood. perfectly ending a great piece.
wonderful!
i loved it

Lexie

Wow. a beautifully expressed write!! i loved every single word. yer a wonderful writer, keep up the lovely work!