You Cause Dizziness To Come In A New Form.

by Stephanie   Feb 23, 2008


It's long, confusing, but it's probably the most honest poem I've ever written. Please comment [HONESTLY], it means a lot to me. (:

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:: [Past] ::
I can feel your fingertips shaking through my thin white cotton shirt. Can you feel me like I feel you? Or should I tempt my body to shake just a little bit more? And do your bones ache from pressing too deep, or should I hurt just as much, so we can somehow even this heartfelt score? "Baby, it's cold outside." Yes, my mouth tends to leap at the first chance to talk to you - even if it's only to state the obvious. Cause there isn't enough space to not be filled, and I'm feeling desperate to act completely oblivious. So satisfy the inner child in me, and talk just a bit too much - cause I'm getting restless, and I'll take the first chance I get.

:: [Present] ::
Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold.
The emotions running through this warped head of mine are switching back and forth, like a light switch you just can't get enough of. And quite frankly, I'm beginning to get dizzy on my feet ;; Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Can you hear that? Yes m'dear, that's the musical beat of my heart, and it sounds as if a riot is about to begin. Red. Oh, the color of my cheeks is lovely, isn't it? I guarantee it is - it's like ice cream on a hot day, which you never run out of.

My fingertips are deeply pressed into this letter that you wrote to me [very sloppy by the way], and my eyes are clouding over, making it quite difficult to see. The letter is criss-crossed with metaphors & 'I love you''s, which you sent to me on Valentine's Day no less. How cliche' can you get? So baby, I guess you can label us the prime example of cliche'.

Love. Then a crash and burn. [Speaking figuratively of course] ;;
And I can guess I never got the nerve to admit to you that you cause dizziness to come in a new form, and even a year later my mind still swirls around the words, "Baby, it's cold outside". Cause truly, I'm still praying you'll be there to keep me warm. Which you're not.

- If you as the reader can comprehend this, I applaud you. I'm very confused with everything in my life at the moment, and I think it really really really shows in my writing.

February 23, 2008
(c) Stephanie Lynn.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Littlewriter-a

    Wow...okay I'll admit..i get it! very very good and i would of wrote something just like that. Magical.
    5/5
    Arielle
    ~Heart Beat Thunder~

  • 16 years ago

    by stacey pearce

    Wow i love ur poem it does make sense if u look at it simply i guess its just the way u read it but u want me 2 be honest then get ova him u got the rest of ur life to live and plenty more people to find and appreciate and have more fun with!

    stacey xoxoxoxoxox

  • 16 years ago

    by Tim Mauntler

    Excelent... and i think i understand what's going on... it sounds like you love him, but you know the spark is going away...
    it's an awesome topic to write about and produced a great poem...
    keep writing
    i wish you luck
    tim

  • 16 years ago

    by TheRevelation

    This poem could mean different things depending on how you look at it.
    ""Baby, it's cold outside." Yes, my mouth tends to leap at the first chance to talk to you - even if it's only to state the obvious," that was a wonderful statement. I think everyone has had one of those moments. What I got out of that was obviously love and desire, to talk to hear a voice maybe a need?
    This was a very unique piece of poetry, and I truly enjoyed the read. Long poems tend to bore me at times but not this one, it was enticing, a bit confusing but it makes it that much more interesting. Good job 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    Ouch with the last phrase. I thought it might have a happy ending .. well I was hopeful. Okay so basically I loved this. Seriously man. I thought your work couldn't get any better but this one just blew me away. I loved how you did something different .. it was quite refreshing and interesting to read. I was left wanting more .. I didnt even mind the length.

    "my mouth tends to leap at the first chance to talk to you - even if it's only to state the obvious."
    ^oh my how deeply I can relate with that. You took something so simple that were constantly exerpiance and you expresed it soo beautifully. I applaud you.

    The truth behind this poem was profound and maybe I understood it differently but it was overall a joy. Has to be one of the best you've written.

    Well done *5/5*

    *& thank you sososo much for your comment on my poem ... it means a lot. I poured my heart out and I'm glad to know it made sense hahah*

    take care.

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