That's What You Get

by L0V3 Mi fAMilY   Feb 24, 2008


There's no way out for a loser,
That doesn't show their pain.
Everyday that passes is worse,
It's time to do what you have to.

You blame yourself for no reason,
You obsess over your situation.
Nobody heals that much hurt,
So much embarassment in your life.

There's salt in your mouth,
Your whole body feels bad,
Your whole world is artificial,
You're fragil, like crystal.

In your mouth there's that taste,
That makes everything else taste bad.
My friend, you will always be a loser,
If you don't intend to do better.

You say that life is cruel,
You turn on your skin.
The words in your mouth are always,
"How else do you want me to feel?"

It's time to solve you error,
Before you hurt yourself more,
That's what you get,
For loving a woman that's not yours.

0


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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    It seemed a little.. simple to me, I guess that's because I've been reading really complicated poems lately. >.> I did like it, though. It has a message that's so raw and blunt. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. The flow was a little rocky in some places, but you always got back on track. The ending is what really got me. It just tied everything together so perfectly.

    There's no way out for a loser,

    ^^ I usually don't like the word "loser" in poems, but in this one, I think it really fits. I like it.

    There's salt in your mouth,

    ^^ I'm not sure what this like is suppose to mean... is it literal or metaphorical?

    It's time to solve you error,

    ^^ "you" should be "your", just a little mistake. :]

    Great job.

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • 16 years ago

    by Veamm

    Excellent!

    It awesome!, you really put your emotions on it. Anger and hate, I liked it..all of the lines possessed much power! Great write dude!

    Keep on rocking!

    Veamm

  • 16 years ago

    by StuPiD FrEaK

    My friend, you will always be a loser,
    If you don't intend to do better.

    This is my favorite part! This would be a good reminder everytime I fail to achieve.. I thought it was about life until I read the last one.. Hehe.. I really suck in comprehension..

  • 16 years ago

    by Natalie

    The ending of the poem really brought it all together. And it's a very true statement. But I guess sometimes you can't help who you love, You're not really suppose to..

    It was written really well though.. Nice flow and rhyming. Kept my attention all the way through.

    Keep up the good work. =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Nikki

    Good job.