I am ready to explode
All of these mixed emotions are ripping me to shredds
The confusion and sadness
The love and passion
The hatred
I no longer know what to do
I keep trying to hold everything together
And yet things just get worse
What is wrong with me?
What have I done to deserve this hurtful and cheerless life?
I finally find the person that I want to fill this void in my heart,
And I can't have her
I am so tired of knowing what I want,
Trying to earn that love,
Working to have her and yet still be left in the dark,
Scared, alone, and full of dread
It seems as though no matter what I do,
It will and has never been enough
I have this gut feeling that I should let go but I don't know how
Don't really want to at all
But I do not know how much longer I can take this indecision
The contradictions in both words and actions
Don't know how much more fighting and tears I can handle
How much longer I am willing to lose my way so I can have her
And even though all of this continues,
I keep hoping that she will see what I have to offer
Notice how much I need her and love her
Comprehend what is standing right in front of her
Hoping that soon she will come to her senses
And love me as I love her
Realize that she has me completely
Without question
But how do I get her to see these things?
Is it possible?
Because I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to wait
I am ready to explode
To combust from all of these thoughts and goals and hopes and emotions
I am so close to losing it
And leaving it all behind
